Shay's New Blog

http://shayselfdiscovery.blogspot.com/

Shay is going solo (in my weight loss journey)

Well, it has been like four months or something since either James or I have posted to this blog. After Cayden returned home and school started (we're back in school working towards our degrees) exercise and eating right just seemed to take a back seat to day-to-day life and stress. Our semester is nearing and end (thank God!) but we've totally fallen off. I am back at my starting weight of 200 lbs now. I am very discouraged. To be honest, it took longer than I thought to come back considering we stopped working out and started eating out again. My body was very kind to me. I can honestly say that you don't just put the weight back on over night. It was a gradual process over these few months. I do see, though, that not making my health a priority just leads to my misery.

So here's the deal, it is just too hard for me to lose the weight with a partner. When things are going well, they're going well! But, when one of us doesn't feel like working out, it affects us both! Also, trying to motivate someone else when you need that extra push yourself is just too hard. I have to put a focus on my weight loss first and hopefully James will be motivated by my journey. I have stated before that I have lost weight in the past. I did it alone. My biggest struggle was and probably will always be keeping the weight off. It is very difficult for me since being married trying to keep the weight off. My husband has been overweight all of his life and he mentions food a lot. We're both emotional eaters, probably like a lot of folks and this doesn't help my cause.

As of today, I am starting a new blog, where I will focus on myself, not just weight either...my life, my journey, my happiness, my weight...everything that will make me a better person, the person I picture myself as. I'll post a link to the new journal.

Who's manning the blog?

The truth is...no one is manning the blog right now. James and I have good intentions but have become a bit laxed. Not good. August didn't exactly go as planned. Today I got on the scale and I am 190 lbs but considering that I haven't worked out in a week...that's not bad. James was around 313 lbs when he got on the scale a few days ago. We are transitioning now. Cayden is back home from summer vacation, we'll be starting class soon and we're going to try and work out before work (will post our updated workout schedule this week). Trying to exercise in the evenings or during lunch is just not working out right now or shall I say that we're just not making it work. Cause I know it can if we make it happen. Anyway, I think I found a new motivation. I stumbled across this young lady on http://www.youtube.com/ who posted the most motivational videos. She started off at around 215-220 and now she has maintained a weight of 129 lbs for over a year I believe. She gave some good "tough love" advice and I really appreciate it. It wasn't directly to me but I plan on using it like it was. She also went on a natural hair journey (I've already accomplished that) but that was relevant too. I have a lot in common with her and I hope that she will continue to create videos because based on the reviews she received, she's helping a lot of people. I'll just share that one thing she said was to "Show them better than you can tell them"...yeah, we've all heard that one but I like what she meant by it. I was constantly posting my success on facebook. She basically said "Just do it"! That's good advice. Of course, she had other explanations behind it also...*long story*. I will; however, continue to post our journey here because I do want to always be reminded of how difficult this journey was and allow others to use this blog as motivation someday.

Well...here goes my new challenge "Show them better than you can tell them"

Today I reached a goal

Today I got on the scale and it read 189.6 lbs.

It doesn't even seem real right now. I wanted it and wanted it so badly and here it is and I can barely even react. To be honest I feel scared. I'm scared that I might actually lose the weight this time...then what? I know that sounds ridiculous. I guess I'm scared that I won't be able to hide behind the weight anymore. I can no longer say my weight is the reason that I'm not happy. What if it's more to it? What if I accomplish this goal and I'm not happy? Okay....I guess I'm going way too far. I need to just enjoy this moment...right here....right now.

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

I DID IT! :)

Regaining our motivation

Just like James posted previously, we were slackers for about one week (due to our vacation/my summer training in St. Simons Island, GA - we'll talk about this later). God was too kind to us, though and we didn't gain much...James probably gained around 3 lbs and I think I gained around 2 lbs. You know what this meant, right? We had to spend one week (re) losing the weight that we had already lost. I believe this played a major part in our attitude towards the gym when we returned. There was just no motivation in losing weight that you already lost once. Something I have learned, though....Be afraid of vacations....very, very afraid! But still try and get your exercise in and avoid restaurants as much as possible. I definitely think we did better in Florida than on this vacation. We took our scale (not that it helped) but we didn't exercise at all. We tend to be more conscious of our eating when we're exercising...cause of course you don't want all the sweat and tears to be for nothing. Moving along...

Regaining our motivation. We have whined and complained about exercise since our return and we decided last Friday that we have to suck it up (like we did in June). We just did it. It was hard at first but it got easier. Both of us have the potential this month of seeing numbers on the scale that we haven't seen in a long while (since going upwards on the scale) and this can be exciting for us. James is around 314 lbs right now (point whatever) but he has seen as low as 313 (point something) on the scale recently. Today I weighed in at 191.2 (the lowest so far) and I am very excited about this. With no vacations coming up we can finally keep pressing forward without setbacks. My goal is to not see 192 again (although I'm aware my weight could fluctuate). My weight has hoovered around 192 for so long that I'm just fed up with it. I need a change and it is time to step it up! Moving along...

Back to that vacation/summer training. We visited St. Simons Island, Brunswick, Jeckyll Island, Savannah and Tybee Island (all in the southern part of Georgia). We didn't care for St. Simons Island, Brunswick or Jeckyll Island; however, Savannah and Tybee Island will always be one of "our spots". Once again, we'll post pics when we can (we're too lazy after working and working out...lol). We still have to post pics from Florida (earlier in July).

Keep us in your prayers!

Just lost our mojo

We lost our mojo but we perservered. Yesterday on our 6 year wedding anniversary, neither Shay or I really felt like working out. What did we do? We worked out. Neither one of us has been in the gym since last Monday and boy was it hard. This has been a tough time, we were eating what we wanted and when we wanted and now back to how we are supposed to be living! What a shocker. Oh well we will keep pushing on. Going to the gym today but I do feel better about it. I just can't wait until Friday, oh I mean Saturday morning. Working out and work will be over for a couple of days at least.

Until then!

Reality check

This weekend I had a reality check. I got on the scale after weigh in (offical weigh in that is) and the scale said 314. something. That really hit me hard. I am close to being under 300lbs for the first time in a very long while. Shay is clawing her way out of the 190's. I know and I have read her discouragement, it is a little hard to be happy and discouraged at the same time. The good thing is we are in this together. We are going to the gym for over 1 1/2 months now. Yippie!!! It is a part of our life now. Shay is doing a great job in cooking for us. SHe is really taking care of our family. I love you so much for that, babe.

We are close to getting into the next decade, lets keep keepin on!

A sad day

You ever had one of those days when you're sad and don't know why? That's today for me. I should be enjoying my day...it's Saturday...but instead I am sitting in my yellow room and blogging about how sad I am.

Today is official weigh in day for us...the scale didn't move for me. I'm 192.8 (very discouraging) and James is 315.6. Good job James! Perhaps my weight is playing some factor in my mood today. To want something bad and not be able to have it is disappointing. It seems like the more I more forward in the weight loss journey the more I get stuck at a plateau. Seems to be the story of my life right now. I know, a straight up pity party...lol

I went for a walk so that I would be doing something towards my goal...that didn't work. I tried to go skating last night with my son. Don't even get me started on that experience. What am I going to do to get the scale moving for me. I'm tired. I'm definitely not giving up but I am tired.

I hope my next post will go better.

We're doing this!

It seems unreal that James and I are really doing this...together. It's not even a question anymore whether we're headed to the gym after work, it's just becoming a way of life.

Sure, sometimes I wish I could just speed it up (actually all the time). I feel like I'm trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me. Inside I feel young and trendy. I want to go shopping. I want to look in my closet in the morning and pick an outfit based on how I feel today. I want to express myself through my clothing. I want to buy shoes and bags and accessories to match everything. I want to wear nice perfumes and style my hair to give myself "that look" for "that day"...and instead, I wait patiently, continue working out and continue doing what I'm doing and watch it happen slowly. It gets hard. Good news, though....James is weighing in at 317 lbs and I'm weighing in at 192 lbs (despite having my Aunt Flow in town...lol). The scale has even hoovered into the land of 191.4 for me so my time is finally coming to get out of the 190s.

It's so crazy that it's still such a lonnnnngggg road ahead of us. All we can focus on right now is "in the meantime".

Let's talk about the vacation...

Let's just say his wonderful wife, Shay (that's me), didn't help with making great eating decisions. We started out doing so well, we worked out two consecutive days, walked around Clearwater Beach all day (in the hooootttt sun) and hiked up the stairs of University of Florida's football stadium (all the way to the top people!)....so we did get exercise almost every day; however, we ate at Wing Zone, Burger King, Wendys, The Real Chow Baby, and every other joint we where we could wrap our lips around unhealthy food. I feel that we did well on our decisions at first but slowly we started going back to old behaviors.

The know what the positve thing was....the scale was very forgiving to us (more so me). I only gained 1.4 lbs and I am already back on track. James gained 3.8 lbs and he is already back on track. The point is, though, we shouldn't have gained! You don't SLOWLY take the weight off to put ANY of it back it during a vacation (or period).

We weren't getting on the scale every morning so we weren't keeping our weight in check like we do at home; therefore, we just figured once we messed up, we REALLY MESSED UP! But we didn't and if we had our scale, we would have seen that. But that's the mentality you want to avoid anyway...I messed up once so it's over and I should just totally blow it....WRONG! If you mess up, you get back on track immediately. Anyway, we will be taking our scale on future vacations!

Oh yeah...about the vacation! Things we did/places we went:

• Clearwater/Clearwater Beach, FL/Gulf of Mexico (took a boat ride out to the Gulf and watched the fireworks on the boat)
• Tampa/Tampa Bay, FL (stayed at the Westin with a bay view from our room. I'll post the pics...it was beautiful!)
• St. Petersburg, FL (downtown area mostly)
• Ocala, FL (where we stayed at grandma's house)
• Gainesville, FL (University of Florida, got to see Tim Tebow practicing)

Waking up in Florida

We are waking up in Floriday and it feels wonderful! We just got back from working out. I am so blessed to be able to wake up next to my beautiful wife and one of my wonderful kids. I am happy to be in Florida on vacation. I know Shay will assist us in making great eating decisions.

Pounds Lighter!!!

What will July bring?

Well, I am happy that June is over and we are able to say that we stuck to our plan. Like I just told James yesterday (and Dr. Phil stressed) "the time is going to pass by regardless". We can be proud of how we utilized that time.

I got on the scale today and it displayed 194 even (small change....yaaaay....I'll take it). I am so proud of my eating decisions yesterday. At a restaurant and faced many challenges, I went with the BLT sandwich and a side salad. I felt it wouldn't be too heavy and it worked! Just 5 lbs to get out of the 190s....still taking forever. That is my goal this month. I will be out of the 190s one way or another...lol

Oh yeah....today we're on our way to Florida. We're going to do our official weigh in next Tuesday. We have planned to continue to work out and eat healthy (even on vacation)

Here goes...

Happy Birthday

I want to wish my wife a very special Happy Birthday. I love you so much and I am so glad that you enjoyed your gift.

A fit gift for me!

My husband had an Edible Arrangements fruit basket delivered to me for my 33rd Bday (similar to the pic above).

It is so beautiful and it really made my day! I forgot all about the weight I didn't lose enough of (for the moment). It has pineapples, strawberries, grapes and cantaloupe.

I love it! Thanks honey!

Frustration settling in...

Today is my Bday and I expected to get on the scale and get a nice Bday surprise...wrong!!! The scale first displayed 195.4 (WTF!)...then before I got dressed I got on again and it displayed 194.6...my regular number that I can't seem to get past. I ate less than usual yesterday, we hiked Kennesaw Mountain on Sunday...and still no results! Could it be too much resistance training? Did I overdo it with the hill? Should I do more cardio than weights? I'm not sure what's going on!

It's time to talk to someone...

Shay's Measurement Updates

I am pretty content today. My official weigh-in weight is 194.6 (same weight I've been seeing for a few days now).

Chest, 44"
Waist, 40"
Hips, 46"
Thighs, 26" (both)
Arms, 12" (both)

That's a loss all over......yayyyyy me!

James is still the Biggest Loser right now, though. He weighed in at 319.4. Go Hubby!!!

He's the biggest loser!

Thanks to James for those nice comments about me! I am very proud of us also. This is the longest that we've stuck to a work out plan together...perhaps our time at Lifetime Fitness in Rochester is comparable but I feel better about this!

A day after I posted about possibly being stuck at a plateau I got on the scale and I was 194.6 and I've been there pretty much since. I have waivered between that and 195. I can't complain, though, because SLOWLY but surely the scale is moving in the right direction. Sometimes we get on the scale in the morning and James has lost...and I haven't :( Oh well, that's life! I am so proud of him! He's seeing results and so am I! That's all that matters!

I am a little concerned about our upcoming vacations and what will happen to our workouts and exercise; however, this is our plan: research gyms/recreation centers in the area (and we already have one), ensure a gym is at our hotel in Tampa (check), research restaurants in the local area and their nutrition information to make sure we make better decisions.

James is right...we are being tested by Satan! Gym closing, upcoming vacations, weekend temptations when going out with friends. Keep us in your prayers!

Are we on to something???

I wanted to put to the test my idea that we may need to have to add another full day of cardio. We both got onto the scale after our day of weights and we lost minimal. We got onto the scale after a full day of cardio and we lost more weight. Shay still seems to think that we may need to increase our intensity on our 30 minutes of cardio on our weight training days. We really have not talked about it but I am willing to see if my wife is onto something.

I am feeling pretty good about my eating. I am seeing results and my guardian angel (Shay) had to put me in check on Tuesday night because I almost ate a 4th taco and 2 pop tarts. Pop tarts were 200 calories per pastry. Oouch!!! I was a little disturbed that I could not eat it at the time, but I know that it was the best thing to do. I am grateful for her to be there to help me out.

Today was day 18 of our workouts and we found out that our gym is closing in just 6 days. Satan is trying to get in our way already. We have begun talking about new plans as far as where we will be working out. We are being and we have to be proactive about this whole situation. I am proud of my wife and proud of us for our dedication. This is, I believe, the longest that we have stuck to working out together.

YOU GO US!!!

Plateau?

Okay...I'm not sure if I'm at a plateau this early or what??? I seem to be stuck at 196 point whatever whenever I get on the scale now since last week. I suggested to James that we might need to increase our intesity. James thinks perhaps we're not doing enough and should add another full cardio day. I don't know????? I suggested that we talk to someone.

We're going to continue to press forward but I don't know how discouraged I will get if I continue to see this number day after day. I just want out of the 190s....that's when I'll know I have accomplished something....that's my measuring stick right now!

Pressing forward

It seems that I am at a stand still for now. I'm not sure if it's my visitor (Aunt Flow) or what? I am hoovering around 197ish and James is hoovering around 325ish the last couple of days. The good thing is that it's just a few days. Hey...I'm not 199 so I'll take it. I just know I can't be stupid again and blow my progress over the weekend. I see how long it's taking me just to get back to the same weight I just weighed in at last Sunday. Honestly, with diet and exercise combined I would think that the weight would just be falling off of our bodies...especially James (men lose faster concept). We're a little surprised that we have lost so little since becoming more serious about the gym. We have stuck to our plan and this is almost the end of week 3. I am so proud of us. We will just continue to press forward. I can definitely say that my clothes seem to feel better....not necessarily a looser fit but they don't feel tight (like they sometimes can feel).

Here are some tips I picked up on the internet:

Weigh yourself. Stepping on the scale first thing (after the bathroom, before breakfast, wearing little to nothing) gives you the most accurate read on your weight, which can fluctuate by up to three pounds during the day! It's a good idea to weigh in daily: A study from Brown University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill showed that 61 percent of people who did so maintained their weight within five pounds over time (compared with 32 percent who weighed in less often), mainly because it helped them catch weight gain early.

Eat breakfast if you're watching your weight. A hearty starter, ideally eaten within 15 to 30 minutes of waking and no later than 8 a.m., will help you stave off a gain. "If you don't eat breakfast, your body thinks it's in starvation mode, and you'll eat more food later on," Edlund says. A Harvard Medical School study confirms that people who ate a morning meal were one third less likely to be obese than those who didn't. Go for whole grains (oatmeal, whole-grain cereal, or whole-grain toast) with a serving of protein (an egg, a tablespoon of nut butter, or a slice of low-fat cheese) and some fruit to keep you alert and feeling full for longer. Aim for a meal of around 200 to 300 calories.

Get moving. Late afternoon to early evening (5 to 6 p.m.) may just be the best time to exercise, because that's when you're hottest, literally. Your body temperature reaches its daily peak (2 to 3 degrees warmer than in the morning), giving you maximum muscle strength, flexibility, agility, and stamina as well as faster reaction times. Even your lungs are using oxygen more efficiently at this time. You'll work out harder with less perceived effort and are less likely to injure yourself. Of course, any exercise is better than none, so if an early workout fits best with your schedule, keep it there. In fact, a.m. exercisers are most likely to stick to their habit: Studies have shown that more than 90 percent of people who work out in the morning are consistent about doing it.

Info found at http://health.msn.com/womens-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100239654&gt1=31036

Getting back on track

So...I worked out (30 minutes straight elliptical trainer) and followed it up with resistance training and......of course I feel much better. I ate right, cleaned out my system and now I can look forward. By the way, to top everything off yesterday I got a visitor (Aunt Flow)....at this time...I can't believe it. Anyway, I weighed in at 197 on the scale this morning so that is good....not the best but I'll take it. Like I said in my previous post, that was a lesson learned!!! I am hoping when Aunt Flow leaves, she'll leave me feeling and weighing much less!

Oh, I forgot to mention...my little black book is now a little green book. James got me a nicer one. Much appreciated hubby!!!

Restaurants are evil!!!

So after monitoring my calories that entire week and working my a** off at the gym Monday thru Friday, I turned around and blew it on Sunday by going out to eat with friends. Then I topped it off with ice cream at Bruesters. Why? It definitely wasn't worth it. I had fun hanging out but I have determined that if I don't take this seriously and stop going out to restaurants for awhile, I won't ever get out of the 190s. I'll just be playing around and losing the same five pounds over and over and over. That will get old...and discouraging. In all honesty, I probably needed to experience this. On my official weigh-in day I got down to 196.8. The next day I weighed in at 199.2. Now what I'm hoping is that over a two day period I'll get back to 196.8 with ease because I just need to get all of the crap I ate out of my system; however, it's a good possibility that I could spend all week working my a** off again just to get back to 196.8. Never again! If I even think about doing that again, I just need to reflect on this post.

IT WASN"T WORTH IT!!!

Shay's Measurement Updates

James is still trying to determine the right place to measure me on my arms and legs. This fool is using tatoos and blemishes as his marking point....lol

Here goes:

Chest, 44.5"
Waist, 40.5"
Hips, 46.5"
Thighs, 27" (both)
Arms, 12.5" (both)

A week ends and a week begins

Well well well. Another week is done. This is our 8th weigh in day and I must be honest, I am a bit discouraged. I started this whole process weighing 330, I now weigh 326. I had gotten as low as 320.6. I am discouraged a bit but I am still ready to press on. My wife weighed in today and by the looks on her face she is not totally happy, she had a loss of 2.6. She is now at 196.8. I am proud of her and myself because we have not even spoken of quiting our new scheduled workout plan. We have been going strong for 2 full weeks now. With week 3 on the horizon, I can only hope that we can see even better results this week.

I will be honest, last night was a temptation for me. We went on a drive just to get out of the house for awhile (I really think we wanted to show off our new headlight and our new tag light, lol). I was having some cravings. I wanted pizza, burgers and my wife admitted she wanted wings, boy did that sound good. But SUCCESS!!! We drove around, my wife began to fall asleep and we came home without putting any of that in our mouths. All we had was some Vitamin Water 10 and 2 sticks of sugar free gum <5 calories a stick. I am proud of our exhibition of self control. So many times in the past we would have had a McDonalds double cheeseburger between our lips. Not this time!

Week 3 is upon us for working out and we have made a change. We are now going to start weighing in on Saturday's. My thought process is, we work out Monday - Friday and do very little to nothing on Saturday and then weigh in on Sunday. We really are not having a "last chance workout". Lets see how this works for us.

Until next time, please hope for the weight to keep falling off of us.

Shay's Progress

Well, I tweeked some things and now I am starting to see results. The calorie counting is working for me. I have been doing it all week and it is becoming easier and easier (still not saying I want to count for the rest of my life, though) but it's not bad. I don't make a big deal out of it...no fancy books, no special paper, just a small notepad that I can keep in my purse.

Here is a summary of my week so far:

Day, Calories, Weight (weigh-in the next morning)

Monday, 1280, 198.8 lbs
Tuesday, 1350, 197.6 lbs
Wednesday, 1395, 196.8 lbs
Thursday, 1505, 196 lbs
Friday, 1395, 195.8
Saturday, 1705, 196.8
Sunday, way too many, 199.2 (Blew it in one night but plan to get back on track)

James took my measurements for me also...just in case I didn't see any results on the scale. Of course I hate my measurements, nevertheless, they're mine...for now at least.

Measurements (Taken 6/9/09):

Chest, 45"
Waist, 41"
Hips, 47"
Thighs, both 28"
Arms, both 12"

Measurement goals:

I would love to see myself at around 38,28,38 (Chest, waist, hips). I don't think that's too bad, and if I can get smaller that's even better. Of course as those three come down, the thighs and arms will also. I am not sure what measurement goals I want for my thighs and arms anyway. I just want to look well portioned.

Estimate of Calorie Needs to Lose Weight

Here is a very rough guide of how many calories you need per day, if you want to lose weight. It's a ballpark estimate only.

Women (Non-Active) typically need about 1100-1300 calories per day
Women (Active) typically need about 1400-1600 calories per day
Men (Non-Active) typically need about 1600-1800 calories per day
Men (Active) typically need about 1800-2000 calories per day

Located at: www.annecollins.com/guide-to-calorie-needs.htm

My Little Black Book

So I brought in reinforcement...the little black book that I can keep in my purse and track my calories. No, I don't plan on being a calorie counter for the rest of my life but I feel that I need this now.

I am still struggling with negative thoughts like "What if I don't lose any weight"? I know it's only been five days of working out and perhaps I blew it over the weekend and didn't realize it...I'm not sure. I just need to see some type of loss. I will be happy if that scale tells me 197lbs this week....that's fine for me. I just need to see the number change!!! Please!!!

In the past, I haven't had success with exercise. I can exercise for an entire month and lose a total of 5 lbs but diet change seems to give me more change. I don't know...that's just my body and has been my experience. Now, cardio has yielded better results than weights. I want to give this a real try, though. I haven't exercised long enough in my opinion to just throw in the towel. Now, if I have been exercising for 3 to 4 months without results, I will be very, very concerned. Hell, I'm already concerned. I need to push these negative thoughts out of my mind. Go away negative thoughts! Go away!

God, please give me the strength to continue with or without instant gratification!!!! (Hey, I'm going to post that one on my facebook)

Anyway, I plan to get on the scale a few times this week (official weigh in is still on Sunday) just so I don't get any surprises on Sunday...not good for me right now. If I see that nothings happening, I need to make changes sooner rather than later.

Wish me a better week!

Overcoming obstacles

Well, this is weigh in day and things didn't go as I hoped...for me. James lost 5 lbs (Congrats babe!!!) but I only lost .2 lbs. I coudn't believe it! After all of those great workouts. I might have blown it the day before because we went to BW3s (Buffalo Wild Wings) and although, I didn't feel bad about what I ate, perhabs it was too much. I had 10 wings and shared round home potatoes with my husband.

I read some articles on why I might not have lost weight and decided (after reading) that perhaps I should monitor my calories (1200 per day limit). If it's a number game I can't go wrong, right? Don't know. Also, I have been doing resistance training this week. Perhaps I lost inches. We plan to take my measurements as back up.

This is going to be hard and hopefully I can move past for week two. I will say that until I got on that scale, I was very much looking forward to week 2...not it will be a struggle but I'll just try and push through.

Week 1 Recap

Well, well, well. Week 1 is done and boy what a week it was. I was really looking forward to day 1 and day 2 as well. But day 3 and 4 could have been so much better. Day 3 was vicious for me because we were awaken at 2am because our oldest son had an issue over 500 miles away. I didn't get any sleep and went to work all day. Boy what a day. Still worked out though but it was brutal. Day 4 my wife and I had some beef and it was very unpleasant, but we did it. Day 5 we argured in the parking lot. Not a great start, but it ended very well. We had a great workout and it brought an end to the first week.

I hope we see results, but I am more hopeful that we maintain our motivation into Week 2. Week 2 will bring on its own issues, so until then, Here here for us and the successful completion of week 1.

You cannot get to week 2 unless you complete week 1.

Our Plan (updated)

I just read the first entry and our plan has definitely changed since then.

Here goes:

• Monday - Upper body (30 minutes), Cardio (30 minutes)
• Tuesday - Cardio (at least 1 hour)
• Wednesday - Lower body (30 minutes), Cardio (30 minutes)
• Thursday - Cardio (at least 1 hour)
• Friday - Upper body (30 minutes), Cardio (30 minutes)
• Saturday Off - (optional exercise)
• Sunday Off - (optional exercise)

Eating - Just watching what we eat at this point, trying not to go out eat as often

James might have to confirm this if I've posted anything incorrectly

Does it get easier?

Wow...each day is a struggle and this seems like one of the hardest challenges I will ever face. I hope as each day passes by, it becomes easier and just a way of life. Okay...I am talking like it's been two months or something...lol. This is the fourth day and we will be going back to Ballys (God willing). I'll admit...I don't dread it as much as I did the first two days, however...

I think what we both need to prepare for now is when we don't see results on the scale. I know it will happen. This most recent time that we tried to lose by working out at home, it happened. It always happens. I can't even make guarantees anymore. All I can do is pray for the strength to make it another day, for both of us to make it another day to the gym and work towards this goal. I can't begin to tell you how bad I want this. Of course, though, you always want the end result without having to work hard. I can tell that there is no quick fix to this problem. I just hope it gets easier.

Return to the gym

Well, this should get us some results. All we need to do is stick to the plan. Sounds simple enough.

Anyway, we had such a wonderful weekend. The kind of weekend that makes you forget all of your stress...just living life. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend....downtown walking, fruit markets, spending, spending, and more spending...but overall, just good quality time spent with my husband.

I swear, I just want to lose this weight and have more times like those.

Shay's Aha Moments

This seems like the hardest thing that I'll ever do...we'll ever do. There are so many small things to take in to consideration when trying to lose weight. For me it's not as easy as "I want to lose weight. It's done."

These are some of the things I'm learning along the way. My Aha Moments:

To lose weight permanently you can NOT just go on a diet

This is very much a lifestyle change and that is the hardest part. In order to keep this weight off I need to stick with the things I do to lose this weight. Right now I have to force the changes until they become an everyday part of my life. This is very hard.

Work, stress, sleep, and family have a BIG role

I was aware that family played a part. I learned the first time I tried to lose weight that will power would only take me so far. Your family has to respect and be aware of what you want to accomplish. They play a major role. I am just starting to learn, however, how sleep, stress and work are playing a big part in this as well. When my stress levels at work rise, I tend to overeat and say to hell with working out. I usually feel way too tired to even think about working out. My job consist of helping others, focusing on their needs and putting them before my own. Don't we do enough of that in our lives. We put everyone before us. That's one of the reasons I am in this situation. I am on the bottom of the list. This is a problem for me. This is something that I will have to address along this journey. I also go to bed whenever I want (which is usually very late). I walk around tired a lot and I wonder why. As I'm typing this it's the craziest thing I've ever heard...."Dang I'm so tired all time time....I only sleep two hours a night....wonder why I'm tired". HELLO!!! Like I said....aha moments! Now I just need to change it.

Last thing I'll mention for now is....Conscious Eating

I have to be aware at all times what I'm putting in my mouth. So either I've been unaware or I'm aware and don't care. It's a combination for me depending on my mood. Sometimes I get so stressed that I don't care. I need to find other things to turn to in those times. Can you say...CHALLENGING? I also need to stop setting myself up by not planning meals. If I know what I am eating for the day and stick with that I can change this. At least that's the plan.

Well...that's all my aha moments for now...

We've Fallen Off

It happened again...and I can't believe it (actually I can). Doesn't this always happen when this was supposed to be "the time"? Well, here's the difference...no waiting three months to get back on track. And Bally's just happened to send me a renewal offer at the right time. I want back in. I need as many options as possible. It is scheduled to rain all week in Georgia.

I want this bad. James can be a hard read and he probably wants this just as much as me but I talk about it more....and I'm sick of just talk. I need to think about all the reasons I want this and get real with myself.

Please just pray for us.

To work out or not to work out.... that is the question

That is the question but what is the answer? I know how I feel and I know what is right. I know i would rather sit on my butt and watch the NBA playoffs or maybe Law and Order. Oh I got it, how about the new found attraction to Facebook. Honestly, that is the choice that I would rather make tonight, but the correct answer is to work out. Many days and nights I have watched TV or found something else to do other than work out. But due to the fact that I have such a supportive wife, we got off of our butt and walked 1 mile. We had planned to walk 2 miles this week everyday, but at least we walked. After we walked, guess what? The NBA was still on, Facebook was still there and so was Law and Order. My point is, what i would have rather have done was still available even after we did what was right.

As in the past I have given up. But now since i was told that i have high blood pressure and knowing that i am at my highest weight ever, it is time to do what i am suppose to do. Even if i do not feel like doing it. This is for my life and for me to have many more days, weeks, months and years with my family. If there is anyone out there reading this entry keep me and my wife in your prayers that we continue to do the right thing.

The Cookie Trap

Yesterday my husband and I agreed that we would give in for the day (and eat cookies...I know, right). We were both discouraged and just felt like giving in....so we did. We made ourselves a promise, though, that we would start again today and get back on track. Honestly, I am not sure that was a good decision or not...isn't that "emotional eating"? And so soon into our weight loss journey?

I just want to be out of the 190s because I feel like I'm always stuck there. If I could just get past this I feel like I would be more motivated. I'm not sure for him what that "motivational number" is. I'll ask. I might have to go back to calorie counting (the one time I was successful this is what I did) but I always say to myself "Can I count calories for the rest of my life?". Is that what I'll have to do forever? **sigh** Why isn't it easier to be thin? **sigh again** Oh well, back to work.

What happened?

We're both a little discouraged this week because we both gained weight instead of losing. I gained 2 lbs and James gained 3.6 lbs. Not good for our motivation. We worked out only 4 days this week so we definitely need to step it up. We might also need to re evaluate what we're eating.

Our Goals

We started our weight loss journey 4/27/09 and it seems like this will be a long, hard road but we're up for the challenge.

James starting weight: 330 lbs
James weight loss goal: 220 lbs

Shay's starting weight: 200 lbs
Shay's weight loss goal: 125 lbs

Plan: Walking in our neighborhood daily, walking daily to Leslie Sansone DVDs (increasing by .5 mile weekly), eating healhier and watching portions