Shay's Aha Moments

This seems like the hardest thing that I'll ever do...we'll ever do. There are so many small things to take in to consideration when trying to lose weight. For me it's not as easy as "I want to lose weight. It's done."

These are some of the things I'm learning along the way. My Aha Moments:

To lose weight permanently you can NOT just go on a diet

This is very much a lifestyle change and that is the hardest part. In order to keep this weight off I need to stick with the things I do to lose this weight. Right now I have to force the changes until they become an everyday part of my life. This is very hard.

Work, stress, sleep, and family have a BIG role

I was aware that family played a part. I learned the first time I tried to lose weight that will power would only take me so far. Your family has to respect and be aware of what you want to accomplish. They play a major role. I am just starting to learn, however, how sleep, stress and work are playing a big part in this as well. When my stress levels at work rise, I tend to overeat and say to hell with working out. I usually feel way too tired to even think about working out. My job consist of helping others, focusing on their needs and putting them before my own. Don't we do enough of that in our lives. We put everyone before us. That's one of the reasons I am in this situation. I am on the bottom of the list. This is a problem for me. This is something that I will have to address along this journey. I also go to bed whenever I want (which is usually very late). I walk around tired a lot and I wonder why. As I'm typing this it's the craziest thing I've ever heard...."Dang I'm so tired all time time....I only sleep two hours a night....wonder why I'm tired". HELLO!!! Like I said....aha moments! Now I just need to change it.

Last thing I'll mention for now is....Conscious Eating

I have to be aware at all times what I'm putting in my mouth. So either I've been unaware or I'm aware and don't care. It's a combination for me depending on my mood. Sometimes I get so stressed that I don't care. I need to find other things to turn to in those times. Can you say...CHALLENGING? I also need to stop setting myself up by not planning meals. If I know what I am eating for the day and stick with that I can change this. At least that's the plan.

Well...that's all my aha moments for now...

We've Fallen Off

It happened again...and I can't believe it (actually I can). Doesn't this always happen when this was supposed to be "the time"? Well, here's the difference...no waiting three months to get back on track. And Bally's just happened to send me a renewal offer at the right time. I want back in. I need as many options as possible. It is scheduled to rain all week in Georgia.

I want this bad. James can be a hard read and he probably wants this just as much as me but I talk about it more....and I'm sick of just talk. I need to think about all the reasons I want this and get real with myself.

Please just pray for us.

To work out or not to work out.... that is the question

That is the question but what is the answer? I know how I feel and I know what is right. I know i would rather sit on my butt and watch the NBA playoffs or maybe Law and Order. Oh I got it, how about the new found attraction to Facebook. Honestly, that is the choice that I would rather make tonight, but the correct answer is to work out. Many days and nights I have watched TV or found something else to do other than work out. But due to the fact that I have such a supportive wife, we got off of our butt and walked 1 mile. We had planned to walk 2 miles this week everyday, but at least we walked. After we walked, guess what? The NBA was still on, Facebook was still there and so was Law and Order. My point is, what i would have rather have done was still available even after we did what was right.

As in the past I have given up. But now since i was told that i have high blood pressure and knowing that i am at my highest weight ever, it is time to do what i am suppose to do. Even if i do not feel like doing it. This is for my life and for me to have many more days, weeks, months and years with my family. If there is anyone out there reading this entry keep me and my wife in your prayers that we continue to do the right thing.

The Cookie Trap

Yesterday my husband and I agreed that we would give in for the day (and eat cookies...I know, right). We were both discouraged and just felt like giving in....so we did. We made ourselves a promise, though, that we would start again today and get back on track. Honestly, I am not sure that was a good decision or not...isn't that "emotional eating"? And so soon into our weight loss journey?

I just want to be out of the 190s because I feel like I'm always stuck there. If I could just get past this I feel like I would be more motivated. I'm not sure for him what that "motivational number" is. I'll ask. I might have to go back to calorie counting (the one time I was successful this is what I did) but I always say to myself "Can I count calories for the rest of my life?". Is that what I'll have to do forever? **sigh** Why isn't it easier to be thin? **sigh again** Oh well, back to work.

What happened?

We're both a little discouraged this week because we both gained weight instead of losing. I gained 2 lbs and James gained 3.6 lbs. Not good for our motivation. We worked out only 4 days this week so we definitely need to step it up. We might also need to re evaluate what we're eating.

Our Goals

We started our weight loss journey 4/27/09 and it seems like this will be a long, hard road but we're up for the challenge.

James starting weight: 330 lbs
James weight loss goal: 220 lbs

Shay's starting weight: 200 lbs
Shay's weight loss goal: 125 lbs

Plan: Walking in our neighborhood daily, walking daily to Leslie Sansone DVDs (increasing by .5 mile weekly), eating healhier and watching portions